The Courageous Mindset

Books Referenced

Find Your Why - Simon Sinek

Confidence is overrated.

Don’t get me wrong. It is helpful.

And if you have confidence, you will likely perform better than if you don’t have it.

But still… it is overrated.

We think we need confidence before we take action, and as a requirement to take action.

Yet confidence only comes after taking action.

We think we need confidence to do well at a task.

But we first learned that task when we had a lack of confidence.

At the end of the day, chasing confidence is just like chasing comfort.

We want to feel good about a task before we do it. We want certainty that we can’t fail before we even try.

Most of the time, chasing confidence is just another name for chasing safety and certainty. It is another excuse to stay in our comfort zones. And we cannot become unstoppable while sitting in our cozy little comfort zone.

So how do we step forward when we don’t have confidence?

Well, there is something I have learned from all the unstoppable leaders I have studied, worked with, and worked for.

These leaders are able to take action (and even take massive action) when confidence is lacking.

And it is because they lean into something most of us forget.

They lean into courage.

The Courageous Mindset

Being courageous is choosing to do something even if it scares you or could potentially hurt you.

Having a courageous mindset means you know and expect you must do scary things in order to grow.

It is the mindset which allows you to feel the fear and do it anyways. And this mindset is a requisite for success.

Confidence, on the other hand, is the feeling of certainty about someone or something.

It is a feeling of knowing… knowing that we will win. Knowing that we will perform. Knowing that the outcome is certain.

But, in business and in life, we can never really be sure of outcomes.

For anyone leading themselves or a team into the future, the path ahead is inherently unknown. Sure, you may know the destination, but you don’t know what challenges and obstacles you will run into along the way. You do not know if you will arrive at your intended finish line. You don’t know if you will lose people along the way.

You just don’t know.

For leaders, a courageous mindset it necessary for success.

For you, a courageous mindset is a requirement for growth.

Courage Before Comfort Before Confidence

We can’t ever start with confidence.

Unless you are irrationally confident, the feeling of confidence comes from experience.

Before having experience, it is normal for our brains to feel uncertainty. To feel fear. To feel unconfident.

When we lead with courage, we take action in spite of fear.

And then, after taking action, we learn. We often learn that we can survive the task. This gives us comfort.

When we are comfortable, we take even more action and continue our learning.

We start stacking wins, experience, and more awareness.

As we become more skilled and familiar with our task, we build confidence.

Confidence does not come before courage.

Courage gets you started and confidence is the result.

Remember this the next time you want to feel confident before trying something new. Expecting confidence before experience is like expecting a perfectly baked cake before putting it in the oven.

There is an order to these things.

With all this being said, how do we build a courageous mindset?

How To Build a Courageous Mindset

How do we feel the fear and do it anyways?

I will share with you what I have learned from others, and what has worked for me.

(These are in no particular order and are not hierarchical, even though I have them numerically ordered)

1 - Identify Your Why

Purpose is a powerful motivator. It can keep you going when times are hard, when you feel like crap, and when confidence is nowhere to be found.

When you have a purpose, confidence become irrelevant. You are no longer distracted by thoughts of, “I’m not sure. I don’t know how this will go.” Instead, your mind is focused on the mission and your next task.

If you are struggling to find your why, Simon Sinek’s book Find Your Why is a great place to start.

2 - Remember your Anti-Vision

Your purpose and vision serve as a positive beacon ahead of you. While positivity is great, I would be foolish not to note the power of negative emotion.

Loss-aversion is the pain we experience when we lose something or fear losing something. It is a powerful motivator.

This is where the anti-vision comes into play.

Your anti-vision consists of all the things you don’t want. If you were to NOT take action, what would you lose? What pain would you feel? How would that impact your life?

As an example, I have spoken with many people who have leveraged an anti-vision to help them start an exercise program.

I remember one client who had never been to the gym before and had a profound lack of confidence when it came to exercise. But he was obese, and he just turned 55… the same age when his dad had a heart attack. He knew the path he was on, and it looked just like his anti-vision: dying at a young age and not being able to see his grandkids.

For him, his purpose / vision of being a grandfather was important, but not nearly as powerful as the thought of missing out on that experience.

His anti-vision enabled him to take action even though he had no confidence with the diet and exercise.

3 - Stop Thinking About Yourself

Start thinking about others. Think about your team, your family, your clients. Think about those whom you can serve. Think about the people you could help with the skills that you have.

When we are focused on others, we are too busy to think about our own need for confidence.

It is easy to get trapped in our own mind, getting paralyzed by analyzing every detail and irrational fear.

From another point of view, I could argue that the need for confidence is selfish. It is selfish to withhold your skills from benefiting the world only because you don’t feel confident enough to take action.

We need your skills. We need your leadership.

Think about being of service to others.

4 - Do More Scary Things

You may just need practice with courage.

If something scares you, maybe it is time to try it.

Is there a phone call you need to make? A conversation you need to have?

Do you need to speak up more or share your opinion more often.

It is possible to build confidence in courageous actions (how meta).

When you do things that scare you, you learn that you won’t die. You learn that “It wasn’t as bad as I thought.” And in through that experience, we gain comfort in navigating the unknown.

The Wrap Up

Confidence is great.

It makes us feel good when we take action. It can help our mind be clear so we can focus on the task at hand.

But confidence is not required to do great things.

Seeking confidence for better performance is overrated.

If you are pushing yourself to achieve more, you are going to push into new and uncomfortable territory.

Lean into your courage.

Feel the fear.

Remember your purpose (and of your anti-vision).

Get out of your own head.

Feel the fear.

And do it anyways.

Or… are you the kind of person who has to feel good before taking action?

I’m rooting for you, my friend.

Go out there and crush it.

Clark