The Power of Alter Egos
Apr 29, 2025
Books Referenced
Psycho-Cybernetics - Maxwell Maltz
The Alter Ego Effect - Todd Herman
Atomic Habits - James Clear
Tiny Habits - BJ Fogg
Every hero has an alter ego.
And you have one too.
But your alter ego may not be a heroic one… and it is holding you back.
In this article, I am going to give you a 5-step process for creating a new identity to help you be more confident, be more healthy, be more productive, or whatever else your heroic self would do.
Before diving in, what is an alter ego?
Well, every hero has 2 identities:
Sometimes the normal person becomes the hero:
- Bruce Wayne becomes Batman
- Peter Parker becomes Spiderman
- Tony Stark becomes Ironman
And sometimes the hero becomes the “regular person”:
- Superman becomes Clark Kent.
- Wonder Woman is Diana Prince.
- Thor is Dr. Donald Blake
Regardless of which direction the alter ego goes, the point is that each person has 2 identities.
These identities influence how they behave.
For example:
Tony Stark is pompous, selfish, and arrogant. But when he is Ironman, he is protective and self-sacrificing.
The Bruce Wayne and Batman dynamic are similar (though Bruce Wayne is often just Batman in a “normal human” costume).
Clark Kent is unconfident and fumbles his words. Superman is confident, speaks clearly, and knows what he wants.
Each character’s behavior is influenced by the costume they are wearing in the moment.
Are they in a normal human costume, or a hero costume?
Are they wearing their “normal” identity, or their alter ego?
This lesson in “identity” can have a huge impact on our own lives, our own behavior, and our own performance.
Many high performers have alter-egos:
- Kobe Bryant had The Black Mamba
- Beyonce has Sasha Fierce
- Bo Jackson had Jason (yeah… the villain from the Friday the 13th movies)
This alter ego allowed them to perform with more confidence, precision, and excellence. (Todd Herman explores these alter egos in his book: The Alter Ego Effect).
Remember, our identity (our self-image) dictates how we behave.
If we see ourselves as social, we are going to be social. If we believe we are shy, we will act shy.
We do not take actions misaligned with our self-image.
If we are not getting the results we want in our life, then we are not taking the actions needed for success. And when we choose not to take action we know we should take, it is because of our identity.
I struggled with this for a long time when building my coaching business.
I knew I needed to go out and talk to more people to build up my clientele, but the image I had in my mind was one of door-to-door salesmen. I did not see myself as this person, so I chose not to take action (at least not at the level I needed to be successful).
But there is good news: if our core identity does not match what we need for a given scenario, we can create a new identity… an alter-ego.
Just like Beyonce created Sasha Fierce to help her be more confident on stage, we can create an alternate identity.
By learning to create a new identity, we can fast track our ability to hit our goals and achieve more.
If you don’t craft a new identity, you could be stuck in an older version of yourself for longer than necessary… and maybe forever.
This is a skill any of us can use. And today, I will teach you how.
The good news is you already have alternate identities. You just might not recognize it.
You already create alternate identities
You may be thinking, “um.. I don’t even know where to start with this.”
But let me ask you this:
Are you the same person at home as you are at work? Or do you tend to be more relaxed at home and more professional at work? Or vice versa?
You might be a total hard ass while at work and yet be a total softy when you are around your kids.
You might be socially reserved when meeting new people but socially gregarious when with close friends.
Why?
Because you are a different person in these different scenarios. You put on a different identity.
What we need to do is be more intentional about the identity we choose in the arenas we want to grow.
So where do we start?
Well, there are 5 steps:
- Choose the Arena
- Define the Ideal
- Identify your Heroic traits
- Embody the Ideal
- Crush the Enemy
These steps have helped me perform better at all kinds of roles, from being a manager to cage fighting, being a dad to public speaking.
And you can do this too.
Let’s dig in!
Choose the Arena
First off, when we are looking to level up our performance we have to choose where we are going to focus.
Generally speaking, we have 3 realms of performance… 3 arenas:
- Personal
- Professional
- Familial
The personal realm includes all the things we do for ourselves: learning, exercising, hobbies, skill building, etc.
The professional realm is all about our work life.
And the familial realm includes all the relationships that matter to us. We could also call this “the relational realm,” so take is as you like.
With these realms come different goals, expectations, and actions, and therefore different personas. We bring different identities to these roles.
For me, when I am at work, I am not the same person I am when with friends.
I mean, I bring the same values, the same positive disposition, but I bring a more professional persona… a professional identity.
In your personal life, you may want to be more focused, more fun, or more physically or fiscally fit (alliteration intentional).
In your professional life, you may want to think bigger, execute faster, lead with more vision.
We have different goals in different arenas. And different goals require different actions. Different actions require different feelings, thoughts, beliefs…. different identities.
Now, there may be some crossover between realms. And your identity may not shift in some grand way between arenas.
For example, you probably care to bring your integrity to every arena, or your honesty.
And you may want to be more present in both your professional arena and familial arena. Or you may want to be more disciplined.
All that is fine… but when we are working on improving our performance, choose a single arena to create focus.
Also, you may have a more specific arena you want to focus on. At work you might want to be more inspiring or be a better speaker. At home you may want to be a better parent or spouse. Just pick a specific area.
Once you do this, move to step 2.
Define the Ideal
Step 2 is defining the “Ideal.” The “Ideal” is that future version of yourself that is peak YOU. It is the heroic version of you.
For our efforts, we want to narrow down this heroic version of us to our specific arena.
For the realm you are focusing on, start by creating clarity on what greatness looks like for you.
What do you want to accomplish? What do you want to feel, do, choose, etc. How do you want to act? What outcomes do you want?
This stage is all about defining your ideal outcome and creating clarity.
It is important to be intentional about this stage. Meaning… write this down!
Do NOT let these desires stay in your head. Externalize them!
When we intentionally evaluate our thoughts, speak them, and write them, we force ourselves to rationalize the irrational. This is a topic worthy of a longer discussion, so let’s just leave it as the guidance to “clarify your thoughts.”
Create as much clarity as you can. What does success look like, feel like, sound like, smell like?
After creating this clarity, we move to step 3.
Identify Your Heroic Traits
In step 3, we identify the traits of our heroic ideal.
Ideal outcomes require ideal actions.
We need to identify the personality traits that are aligned to the ideal (the hero) in your chosen arena.
The question to ask here is, “who do I need to BE to get the results I want?”
For example, if you want weight loss in the personal realm, maybe you need the traits of discipline, organization, and grit.
With those traits, you will be the type of person who wakes up early, hits the gym, and has self-control at mealtime.
In your professional realm you may want charisma, creativity, or articulation.
In your familial realm you may want more patience, focus, or presence.
Your outcomes are a result of your actions, and your actions are a result of your identity. Different outcomes require different actions, requires a different identity (are you remembering this :-) ?)
If you are having trouble identifying ideal traits, start by thinking about someone who is already achieving what you want. Then think of the actions the take and the traits they have.
As a crazy example… Do you want to build multiple billion-dollar businesses? Then think of Elon Musk (Tesla and SpaceX). Or the late Steve Jobs (Pixar and Apple).
What traits do they have (or did they have… RIP Steve).
Well, they are workaholics, obsessed, firm, and have high expectations.
Do you want to look like a fitness model?
Well, they are consistent, disciplined, sacrificing, and relentless.
Think about your Ideal performance and outcomes in your arena and write down the traits you need create the outcomes you want.
Think of who you need to BE.
Then move to step 4.
Embody the Ideal
Step 4 is about becoming that heroic version of yourself. Starting with short test-runs.
If you want to change your life, you must change your actions. To change your actions, you must change your identity.
So how do we change our identity?
Well, we can do it slowly, as advised by James Clear in Atomic Habits. BJ Fogg wrote about this first in his book Tiny Habits (someone may have written about small habits before BJ Fogg, but I am unaware of whom).
And this method works! Small actions repeated over time build a new identity.
When we try on the identity of a “healthy person” and repeatedly go to the gym, we slowly build an identity of a healthy person.
But embodiment is a faster way to implement a new identity.
Put simply, embodiment is when we act like the person we want to be… not necessarily the person we are.
It is like trying on a new identity so we can perform new actions.
Yeah… it’s like playing pretend, for adults.
Embodiment is acting as if you are already that person who IS the ideal.
How would that version of you:
- Walk
- Talk
- Sit
- Think
How would that version of you talk to yourself? How would the ideal version of you walk into a board room? How would you greet other people? How would you order coffee?
Go out into the world, in your chosen arena, embodying the ideal version of you. Just go out.
For 5 minutes, walk like the ideal. Talk like the ideal. Listen to people like the ideal. Order food as the ideal. Embody your heroic traits.
Play pretend.
When we do this, we are simply mentally hijacking our fears, quieting them down, and trying on a new identify. We are taking the ideal for a spin.
And then what happens?
We LEARN! We EXPERIENCE! And our repeated actions become our new reality.
As an example of this in real life: Check out Austin Butler’s voice before and after playing in the Elvis Presley biopic.
Austin embodied Elvis. Then his voice changed. It became part of him. His identity evolved.
For you, notice how you feel when you act in alignment with your ideal self. Notice how people respond. Notice your self-talk.
As a bonus, Todd Herman has a great piece of wisdom when embodying the heroic version of you:
Create a totem.
Choose a piece of clothing, or something physical, that when you put it on you become your own hero. This is a trigger, like when Clark Kent runs into a phone booth and comes out as Superman. Maybe you put on a hat, a jacket, or a ring.
Consider what your totem could be to trigger your identity shift.
By successfully embodying the ideal you are able to fast track your actions in alignment with your goals.
But we are not done…
There is one more step.
Crush the Enemy
No matter what you do, you will always have that little voice in your head telling you what you can’t do, shouldn’t do, and will not do.
This voice, this inner critic, is your enemy.
Everyone has it.
It is known by many names:
- The fear voice
- The inner critic
- The inner bitch (thanks Andy Frisella for this one)
- The inner gemlin
The job of this voice is to protect you and keep you safe. It wants to keep you in your comfort zone.
It is the source of imposter syndrome. It is the thing that stops you from taking risks.
It stops us from doing the one thing we need to make progress: taking action.
We must crush this voice.
It is OK to hear it and acknowledge it’s presence. But then recognize it for what it is: Fear.
Thank the voice for its input and then tell it to shove off.
A powerful way to crush this voice is to name it.
My inner bitch is named “Craig.” I imagine him as the evil version of me with a mustache… like that Star Trek episode where evil versions of the characters exist in an alternate universe (South Park did a spoof of this too).
When that voice chimes in saying, “who do you think you are? You’re a fraud. They are going to find you out!”
I say, “Shut up Craig. You are a little b****, and I am not listening to you.”
Yeah… I have to add a little vulgarity here to ensure I dominate this voice and not the other way around.
By naming our fear voice, we can gain power over it.
NOT claiming your power over this voice is a sure way to keep you trapped in your current reality.
This is not to say you will never submit to your fear voice. This is a constant internal battle we all must face (myself included).
But you CAN claim your power over fear.
The Wrap Up
There is a version of you in the future who is everything you want to be. This ideal version of you, the Hero, is real. And you can embody this person today!
… well, or as soon as you create clarity on what you want and who you want to be.
Create this alter ego. Embody it. And see your world change.
All you have to do is:
- Choose the Arena
- Define the Ideal
- Identify your Heroic traits
- Embody the Ideal
- and Crush the Enemy
You’ve got this.
Thanks for reading.
Go out there and crush it.
I’m rooting for you.
Clark